Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert

In her book, ‘Eat, Pray, Love,’ American author Elizabeth Gilbert writes about her struggle to rebuild her life after the breakdown of her first marriage.  In the sequel, ‘Committed’, the author, still passionately in love with Felipe, whom she met during her travels chronicled in the first book, appears to have developed little less than a phobia about marriage.  Felipe, also having been through a messy divorce, apparently has a similar mind-set.  They want to stay together, but both are terrified of committing to another marriage.  Yet marriage between Elizabeth and Felipe is the only way for him to legally return to the USA, and for the two of them to live together in that country.

During their time together in S-E Asia prior to their marriage, the author delves into the whole subject of marriage to an obsessive degree.  No stone is left unturned as she researches what marriage has meant for generations of people both in the West and elsewhere, how it has been viewed by people of various religions, and why, historically, people have felt the need to get married.  As a result of conversations with people in Laos, S. E Asia, with her own mother and grandmother and with friends, she comes to the conclusion that, while in a bygone age divorce was rare because a woman had no financial independence, in recent times the ability of women to earn rather than be dependent on their husbands, whilst enabling them to escape an unhappy marriage, has often simultaneously created a new set of problems due to clashes of opinion and differing expectations between the sexes. 

Occasionally, my attention was grabbed by some interesting snippet of information.  For instance, it appears that it was Queen Victoria who started the fashion in the West for white weddings; previously, the wedding day was frequently not very different from any other day, as vows would be exchanged in an impromptu ceremony, in a matter of moments.  Historically, apparently, marriage was necessary for economic reasons and to maintain social order.  I learned that traditionally, women in parts of the developing world are reluctant to acknowledge the existence of marital breakdown, for reasons similar to those which meant that divorce in the West was unthinkable until comparatively recently.

However, for the most part, I’m afraid I found Gilbert’s constant complaints about how much married women have to sacrifice, and her incessant searching for answers rather irritating.  There is little or no sequence of events in the book, and hardly any dialogue; mostly, the author is sharing with her readers her own thoughts and intense anxieties on the state of marriage. There is little mention of Felipe’s feelings or needs.  Whilst agreeing, to some extent, with certain of her comments, I frequently felt that she wants both the penny and the bun, and that it might be better for someone of her temperament to stay single.  In one interview (quoted in the back of my copy), she states that people getting married after the age of 35 have a very good chance of staying together; also that modern Americans expect too much from marriage.  Shouldn’t these 2 statements provide her with the answers she seeks?

Reviewed by: Margaret Rees of Llanilar